namesake

I took and auto with my aunt to see her off at the airport. Got off, had one kappi (Nescafe!), smoke and conversation before she went in. I walk upto three auto guys and tell them where I need to go, each didn’t want to go in that direction, so, I waited for another auto guy for about 5 mins. Nothing in sight! Finally one of the first guys I had asked started his auto and drove upto where I was standing and said ‘bhetiye madam’ (please sit). The only thought that crossed my mind was that,if I had been in chennai(purposely using chennai coz that name is what makes me indifferent to that city – madras is home, it’s a place I know but chennai is a city I don’t relate to) then I would first have to argue with an auto guy for a rate then he will finally decide he doesn’t want to head in that direction and if I had been stuck waiting for another auto, he wouldn’t ever think of just taking me where I needed to go. he would just park up next to me and be completely indifferent to my anxious wait for another auto. This guy offered to take me where I had to go and ritually turned the meter. This is the real Bombay. It does have a heart.
You need to live here to realize it the mumbai the rest of the country or metros read hear or see is just a percentage, that plays minimum role in giving this city character but that what the rest of ‘em get to see and therefore stereotype the city to what they see of it.
I cannot generalize and say that Bombay is this and madras is like that. Both cities are made up of different kinds of people, each city with its share of past, different politics and different lifestyles. It’s the lifestyle you lead in both cities that makes the person and not the city . the spunk of Bombay is that it enables you to live the way you want to based on the choices you make but with madras your choices will be a neighborhood discussion. Since Bombay gives you the freedom of choice, it carries extremely different people who have learnt to live and survive independently and just co “exist”.im not pro Bombay and I love madras, but im just sick of listening to so many friends and people complain about Bombay without even living here and just base their theory on people they have met from Bombay (who apparently they don’t like). Yes!, this city is bizarrely humungous and travel and getting around is quite an experience to get used to. this also being one of the reason that people don’t have time to just spend time with each other or just probably catch up for a smoke or just do sunday afternoon beer. So invariably everyone is alone and being alone makes you hard. Being hard not necessarily means your soul is dead. The auto guy had soul. He is also mumbai.

noise

its raining outside
the girl beside me chatters
dylans singing
a kid hums
my stomach growls
phones crying
cars reversing
chair squeaks
mom yells
aeroplane flying
footsteps
coins
drums
all these noises in my head

mine the donkey last

living in two worlds
mine and theirs
the gravitational force contrast
creating a vaccum in between
a space thats home to nothing
empy bliss
parallel lives
switch on to live in theirs
switch off to live in mine
but it is always mine the donkey last.

read

i sat down to write today and this is wat i wrote, please read :-




























thats all i could think of.

grey

Once again i packed a suitcase and left - 14 t shirts and two pairs of jeans, my laptop, a copy of Alvin Toffler's "Future Shock" and a couple of thousands in the bank (thank you mom and dad). Until my flight was about to land, it hadnt hit me that i had left home, well, it never hits anyone 'cause ive always packed my bags and just left - im like the visiting relative in my home. so, blah!
3 weeks of job hunting and i get one,congratulations to me, but thats not what i wanna talk about. This blog is just random thoughts.

"God helps those who help themselves"- Hezekiah 6:1
"Love your neighbour as thyself" - Romans 13:9
Well no offense meant at all but from the first verse God sounds like a capitalist and the second makes Him sound like a socialist. This makes Him like a confused economist. To quote Toffler - " the year 2000is closer to us in time than the great depression, yet the worlds economists, traumitised by that historic disaster, remain frozen in the attitudes of the past. Economists,even those who talk in the language of revolution, are peculiarly conservative creatures. If it were possible to pry from their brains their collective image of the economy of say, the year 2025, it would probably look very much like that of 1970- only more so. Conditioning to think in straight lines, economists have great difficulty imagining alternatives to communism and capitalism."

As a kid, i was taught right from wrong. There was always a right way of doing things or talking to adults and about respecting people and then there was the wrong way. So, there was black and white, i had heard about the grey and i tripped on to that path a couple of times myself and i abused the services of white lies, but invariably i would get back to the right track because i found my comfort zone there (also i could sleep peacefully). The earth, im learning, is not a blue planet but a grey world(what a dull colour) and i fear the 'greyization' of me. i hope i find the strength in me to keep pushing myself back into my comfort zone when im with people i care about and have the ability to don the greyness when need be! and i pray that i can sleep well!

im going away

my hands are weary
i suffer from fatigue
let me breath
before i suffocate
please dont fall again
stand up straight
take one step

i have to leave you today
dont be angry
but i have to go my way
our journey thus ends this day
its time to bid adieu
so i beg you, dont fall
for i will not be around to catch you

break on thru to the other side

So whats going on?
whats that look in your eye?
do you need to tell me something?
its been awhile since ive seen you
and i know youve been hiding something from me

im your reflection
i see you in reverse
so, lets rewind
unwind
tell me my story
tell me how i live on that side of the plane

nothing ever seems fine when i see you
your eyes tell another tale
your lips are sealed
your smile lies
talk to me , let me
break on thru to the other side