im going away

my hands are weary
i suffer from fatigue
let me breath
before i suffocate
please dont fall again
stand up straight
take one step

i have to leave you today
dont be angry
but i have to go my way
our journey thus ends this day
its time to bid adieu
so i beg you, dont fall
for i will not be around to catch you

break on thru to the other side

So whats going on?
whats that look in your eye?
do you need to tell me something?
its been awhile since ive seen you
and i know youve been hiding something from me

im your reflection
i see you in reverse
so, lets rewind
unwind
tell me my story
tell me how i live on that side of the plane

nothing ever seems fine when i see you
your eyes tell another tale
your lips are sealed
your smile lies
talk to me , let me
break on thru to the other side

to a friend

watch the distant horizon
the youthful waves beat against the shore
shades of blue. shades.

goodbye my friend
farewell
find your place on another shore

happy or content

Why am I here? Am I escaping something? Maybe I am, but on the other hand isn’t everyone? Too many questions and all the wrong answers!
Im here because I crave change. Am I not happy with the life I have or am I not happy with who I am? Happiness, does it exist? Every emotion (rather state of mind) exists if you want it to!
So, what do I want – I want reality but then again what is reality. Is reality what I feel or does it have to do with all five senses. What about the sixth sense? Reality, therefore, for me is what I want. Imperfect for me is real, and therefore, when something perfect stares at me I deny its existence. So, happily ever after does not exist. A moment of happiness does. Therefore im happy at moments of time and content forever. Is it normal to live, therefore, only to be content with life?

Everyday I meet different people, all only content with their lives and almost all oblivious to this fact. Each suffer their own moment of happiness, anger, or pain. Each don their mask at points of time. Each at the center of a game of tug of war between happiness and contentment.

Are you happy or are you content?

Mud

Why did I sculpt? Did I want to sculpt? The only thing I was aware about was the fact that we sculpt ourselves everyday – that could sound deep or just very corny, but , think about it – right from setting one’s hair to stay the way you want or putting just the right amount of kaajal for the mood of your day to just sculpting oneself and one’s emotions – we all are sculptors!

The first time I touched clay I must have been in kinder garden. Messy hands. Round fat cats and extra long caterpillars. Fond memories.

When I touched clay again at 21, I smiled. I could play God and make a world of my own, it was not the power I loved but the world of my own that I love.

Mix the clay. Mix well. No externalities. Take away the stones. Take away the obstacles. Take care.

Now, you sculpt. What do you want to sculpt? Improvise. Experiment. If things go wrong, you can make them right. Million cups of coffee. Hours together – just mud and you. Once done then days on the shelf, patience till dry. Finally baked and served. If things still go wrong then as a friend said ‘Fevicol hai naa’.

The mud became my God and my favourite companion. I made a friend and my friend made me smile.

me

I will be who you want me to be
I will tie my hair up neat
And I will wear white on Friday eve

I will speak when spoken to
And refrain from profanity
I will be just what you want me to be

I will not entertain nicotine stains on my fingers
And I will cut my nails
And scrub behind my ears
I know its all good for me

But when I look into the mirror
And I don’t recognize myself
Then there will be two of me staring straight
And, ironically, no me!